Goals, like deadlines, go whoosh.

       Have you ever heard what Douglas Adams said about deadlines? He said, “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” That’s kind of, well, me with goals. I have these grand ideas with absolutely no follow through. None. My father once told me I had the biggest dreams he’d ever heard, but absolutely no drive to speak of. I’m actually pretty fond of this conversation and I don’t know why... He also went on to tell me I was brilliant and then in the next breath completely frivolous. I was 18 then and while I’m pretty sure at the time I was a little hurt by that, I’ve come to look back on this fondly.

Sorry, rambling, the point is the man was right about me, (and boy did he know his kid,) I really don’t have any drive and I’m kind of frivolous.

Up until this point in life I’ve been mostly content to go with the flow and let life happen to me. Sometimes I get frustrated because I’m not doing what I want or where I’d like to be, but I don’t do anything but complain, ( to my mother, who just lectures me… the same ones I’ve heard a million times) I don’t really change anything.


Change is, kind of a scary thing. Which is, when I stop to think about it, a funny thing for me to be wary of.

I’m in what’s known as seasonal work. I work at different resorts, at different seasons of the year. During winter I’m at one place, during summer another. So, change is what I do all the time. I literally pack up all of my belongings and drive somewhere new every 6 months or so, sometimes completely on the other side of the US.


So, I have to ask myself, why is changing myself at all scary? Why is it so very hard? Do I have some type of deep seeded fear of failure that keeps me from even trying? Which would be ironic because not trying is like the biggest failure.

That’s more than a little sad.


And I’m tired of being that pathetic, I’m a grown up, completely capable of taking charge of her own life.

Maybe.



So, let’s start easy.


One little goal, update this blog. Doesn’t seem terribly hard right? Well, I’ve told myself I wanted to start a blog since one of my friends suggested it. That was in 2009 I believe.


(Cross your fingers for me)